Level 2-

Comment:

WWW: there is a good essay in here somewhere and  clearly passion and knowledge. However lots top work on too

Ebi: written English a real problem so many long clumsy sentences, some paragraphs are almost all one sentence. Towards  the end the tone is too casual too.

No bibliography (criminal) and a distinct lack of references this will keep you below level 3.

You need more focus on primary texts where is the textual analysis.

My second draft I’m hoping I achieve a high level 3 or low level 4.

Fix my written English, sentences too long

Add more footnotes to back up my points

Add some more ‘wider context’  to show I know about the subject

Stop writing clumsy sentences

BFI WISHLIST:
definitely ask for a paragraph on talkies in the 1930's for historical context
ask whether they have anything on Quentin Tarantino and his love of 35mm film
something on why the need for digital film making started (industry context)
make sure to get at least 10 more quality quotes and extend my bibliography by a page.